You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October, 2008.
Jigri dost? Is it even possible? 
ONNNNNNNE BIG HUG for Zoha!
In his favourite jeans
He he….just enjoy the video!
Letting go of something you really love is so difficult. And something you have created…that’s the worst possible thing. I’ve been slowly letting go of bits and parts of my novel that others have been telling me are redundant and make it loosely knit and not tight enough. In doing so, I’ve had to remove parts, phrases, paragraphs that I loved writing. These were the words that really made me feel happy to be a writer, and I’ve had to let go of them. Because, with a lot of serious thought, I realised that they were not adding anything to the story, other than their weightage.
It’s been tough, but I had to make a few structural changes as well, remove a couple of chapters and now, my novel is 198 pages long. I’ve still reached just the half way mark, so probably by the time I’m done with it, I think I will be making my novel much less verbose.
After all these sacrifices, some publisher better snap it up!!! 
And if someone doesn’t even then, I’m just going to put it on the back burner, and get back to writing the other novel that I had started and worry about this one later.
There are some people in my life who are going through a very difficult stage and I am stuck between two conflicting sides. I don’t want to take sides. The whole thing is rather disheartening and upsetting and I just wish that things are back to normal. But then, what is normal? Is there any real state like that? I keep telling myself that I don’t have to get involved and well, I won’t. I just went through plenty of emotional upheaval the past couple of years because of Jun, and now, with great thanks to Allah, that is resolved. At that time, I never believed that what we have today would ever be possible, and although I have immense faith in Allah, I thought that it was stretching it too far.
But then, Allah has showed me that everything is possible. What was inconceivable to me even last year, has been made possible this year. Let me give an example….last year, during Az’s first bday, Jun called in the night and told us he got married. The shock and the disbelief continued for days, months actually, and Ammi and I were very upset. But look at us this year. Allah ka lakh lakh shukr, rahm, everything….this year, on Azzu’s second birthday, not only was Jun with us, but so was his wife Uroosa and his daughter Zoha and we were all a very happy family.
So, if THAT can happen, then I think, anything can. So also, I hope this conflict with these people is resolved and we can look back on it and just think of them as bad days in our life.
I was relishing this long weekend ahead when my cousin bro called me and asked me how I feel about going to Ooty, because he was planning a trip for the whole family. I was excited, skeptical, excited once again, still skeptical because of the rains and then I asked him if he spoke to Mansoor (in case you’r a wee bit confused abt why my cousin bro would go around calling Mansoor, we’re all cousins…mansoor is my cousin, I am his cousin, my cousin bro is cousin to both of us! ok enough of that now) So, Tariq bhai says, Mansoor bhai said, ask Andaleeb. Oho, as if I get to decide. I told Tariq bhai, please ask Mansoor only, because if he is ready, then so am I. All this calling around to each other happened because Mansoor wasn’t in Bangalore.
This went on back and forth for about three hours, in which it was confirmed that we were going tomorrow afternoon and coming back on Monday, and then a lot of people were dropping out for various reasons and it didn’t seem like the same any more.
One part of me was panicking. WHAT WILL I WEAR? WHY HAVENT I GONE SHOPPING FOR THE PAST TWO MONTHS?????
I looked at my closet nearly four times, mentally canceling every outfit for silly reasons, then I had to look at clothes for the kids. Not many warm clothes there either. Mom called me and she was totally unhappy about this going to Ooty business in the middle of these unseasonal rains and she kept sounding discouraging so it kind of rubbed off on me.
Then I spoke to Mansoor who was also not too keen on going and then I called Tariq bhai and canceled. He was irritated and upset I guess, because another cousin bro, Jawed bhai and his family also opted out.
Gosh, its so cold here itself. I can’t begin to imagine how Ooty in the rains would be! Secretly I’m a wee bit glad we’re not going. I had just wanted to laze around this long weekend and get my life, a little bit in shape at least.
Saboor wants to see Roadside Romeo and Azhaan, whenever he sees the promos, he starts off ‘Paameo’ I suppose Az is old enough to enjoy a movie? I don’t know if I should risk taking him to the cinema hall though.
Okay, so I’m back with more pics! Enjoy!
Here’s the birthday cake. Mickey because that’s the only cartoon character Az recognises.
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
Me and Az
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
Rayaan
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
Zoha at Azhaan’s piano
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
Jun with Zoha (check out the pink chinky dress she’s got on! She looked awesome that day!)
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
Shazu, Uroosa and my mom in the background, busy in the kitchen
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
Saboor and Azhaan
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
Az looking proud of his piano!
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
Chapi (as Azhaan refers to Safi, Shazu’s baby!)
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
Sab with his balloons, mashallah, looking all grown up!
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
Mansoor, Az and me!
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
Masoom Az!
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
It’s my birthday! What did you think?
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
So it was Azhaan’s birthday yesterday! Over all I think it went well although it was not a big party or anything. Only thing was that it started off with poor Az falling off the bed and hurting his upper lip. Luckily it didn’t bleed, it just got a bit swollen. Then later I had to drop him and Saboor off at moms because there was this wedding we had to attend.
We got back around three and I was in a frenzy because I hadn’t done a single thing! I quickly arranged the table, took out some stuff and got to work in the kitchen with breading the fish fingers. Ideally, I should have done it the day before, but Mansoor had some work outside and he’d dropped off me and the kids at moms because after that we wanted to go to pick out some toy for Azhaan. Anyhow, I was still at it when mom came. She was making lasagna and she looked at my store room in horror. How do you ever find anything here, she wanted to know. Well, easy…once you get the hang of it I wanted to tell her..but she got down to rearranging things and then she started on her stuff.
Shazu came from upstairs with shahi tukre, and then Jun and the rest of my moms family turned up. Az was not yet dressed in his bday clothes although what he was wearing was new too. I was still stuck with the fish and then Saboor and the rest of the gang started blowing up balloons. It was rather festive really, but if you want to compare with what I did last year, it was nothing…and yet, I was happy! Here’s a pic of Azzu trying to bite the balloon.
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
”
Then I dragged him off to get dressed…to put babbu on his face(sabun) and then to make him wear his favourite panch(pant). Only thing, the pants I made him wear didn’t have a zipper or a button on top. And he immediately decided that THIS is not a PANCH. He started fussing around, pulling down the pant, and I had to pull it up, take him outside finally and then proclaim to everyone, ‘Wow! look at Azhaan’s pant!’. He still didn’t look convinced but he got side tracked with all the noise.
I had peremptorily handed over the breading of the fish fingers to Shazu when Uroosa(Ping) stepped in, saying she wanted to do it. She very sweetly took over the task and then Shazu got down to frying it while I came back to get dressed as befits the mother of the birthday boy! Nothing spectacular, but I wanted to look a bit fresh and NOT smell of fish!
Then, everyone had got down together in one of the rooms where we’d placed all the gifts. Will you believe it? No one, NO ONE had wrapped their gifts? Everyone had either been too busy or had kept the job aside for sometime later and never got around to it. Not that I minded, but I think the thrill of tearing into a gift is something else altogether!
Az got a lot of musical toys, and we gave him this small piano set kind of thingy which comes with a small stand and a smaller stool. He looks so cute when he’s sitting there! Here’s a pic of him trying to be Az the DJ!
 |
| From azhaan bday 2008 |
”
Then after all the cake cutting, (Az blew the candles before we even put them on the cake, which I was reluctant to do anyway because I didn’t want the wax on the cake, and I didn’t have any candle holders). Jun has taken plenty of pics and he’ll be sending them to me soon. Once I get them, I’ll put em up here for u guys!
So, Azzu is now two years old, mashallah! His vocabulary has increased tremendously and he keeps repeating the names of fruits to himself, like appppil, banananana, chikkoo, papayaya…or he looks at the sky and says, ‘chand’ or if he’s in an indulgent mood, he calls the moon, ‘chandu’!
Gosh, all this will just be a memory soon, when he learns to talk and then there will be school for him and oh-k, I am not going to go into all that. Thanks everyone for all the lovely wishes, and duas for my Azzu and my family. Love you all.
Mashallah. Azhaan turns two tomorrow. I still can’t believe it sometimes! This mung-guchi saying, ‘wear your bu-bu’(burkha) crying, ‘penchi-buk’ flaunting baby of mine is actually turning two years! Gosh!
I remember 11th October, 2006, when we went to my gynec who looked at me and asked me why I was walking like an old woman. I told her, the pain is too much. I can’t sit, can’t stand, can’t sleep! She did an internal exam, said there was very little chance of me giving birth vaginally, so I had to have an operation. That was a relief and a disappointment(you can’t believe how ppl revere those souls who have undergone a vaginal birth!) but the doc had given us a choice. You can choose to have the operation anytime from tomorrow, that was 12th to 16th. Mom and I pondered, and then we spoke to MIL who said that we should go ahead right away on 12th itself, since she couldnt bear to see me suffer so much pain.
Mom and I were calculating how many days I would have to be in the hospital and whether we would have to take leave for Saboor for school, and then it occurred to me. 13th October, was Friday. I was NOT having a baby on Friday the 13th! Although I don’t believe in it at all, I didn’t want any sort of stigma.
The day of the operation didn’t actually begin because I couldn’t sleep only. It was Ramzan and I was wide awake when Ammi and everyone had got up for sehri. I read two rakat namaz and then we were off! Everyone seemed worried that I was getting operated. Everyone except me! I had to reassure everyone that I was fine. In fact, Shazu still remembers how I literally bounced into the preparation room, as much as I could have bounced at nine months of course! And when they wheeled me out to take me to the operation room, I had a grin on my face that wouldn’t go no matter what! And by then, the discomfort and pain had grown so much, that I had to tell myself to remember each detail perfectly, so I would remember never to get pregnant again!
In the operation theatre, it was a beautiful moment when Azhaan was born and I wished someone from my family was there with me. In fact I wanted to go outside and share the moment with everyone who had assembled there and I started annoying the doctor who was stitching me up, asking her, is it over? is it over?
She asked the anesthesiologist to sedate me and even then I couldn’t go to sleep until much later. The exhilaration was fantastic, but later the pain crept in and I seem to have almost forgotten how I begged the nurses to give me pain killing injections!
Ok, back to tomorrow! I haven’t planned any big party and I’ve just invited my immediate family to be with us. He’s entering the terrible twos phase, something I do not recall with fondness as far as I remember my experience with Saboor. Anyhow, I just wish my Azzie to have a happy and stress free birthday tomorrow! Of course, all the stress will be mine, even though it is not a big party!
It’s been just a week since Eid and it feels like many many days to me. A lot has happened since then and I want to share it with you guys but I’m also feeling reluctant. I haven’t checked my RSS reader in more than a week probably and have no idea what is happening with anyone.
Junaid and his family arrived last Friday night and life has changed since then, quite a bit. His wife Ping, now called Uroosa, and Zoha are adjusting to life here and its obviously rather difficult. There are other things happening too, after their visit, and most of them have left my mother in a lot of emotional turmoil. I dont want to go into details here because it is not yet resolved, but suffice it to say that the world is one weird place indeed.
Zoha is much much more cute in real although Azhaan gets jealous when I carry her. She’s one baby who can match Azhaan’s ferocity, and you have to hear her growl to believe it!
Life is no bed of roses for any of us and its tough lying down among the thorns, but Allah will give us patience and tolerance and I hope my mother especially will emerge from this experience stronger and not feel so bitter about life any longer.
Eid Mubarak to everyone out there, friends, family, well wishers….
We were so sure Eid would take place today, that it was a big disappointment when we got to know that Eid was on 2nd. Anyway, we got one more roza but what was weird was that most parts of India celebrated Eid today. Tamil Nadu, Kashmir, Hyderabad…all these places and others too. Even Mysore! Which is in Karnataka itself! Why can’t there be some arbitrary decision for this? This morning Ammi kept getting calls from all our relatives in TN who called to say Eid Mubarak and she had to wish them back , and add that, its not Eid for us today!
MIL has invited the four of us to come upstairs for breakfast and lunch so I am not going to cook anything! YAY! But I made vanilla ice cream studded with almonds, pistachios and figs. Hope everyone likes it! Ok, I just remembered. Ammi had sent me some mehendi. Am going to try and put some on my palms. No designs no time, no patience for it. Just a small round of red in the middle of my palm I guess! Eid Mubarak once again!
